"Mid-Life and Looking for a Guy? Help is Here,"Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach

Are all the "good ones" married? Are men your age only interested in women 20years younger? Is it "impossible" to meet men?

Okay, although logic never convinces anyoneof anything, let's counter some of these silly ideas. Yes, many good ones aremarried, but half of them will be divorced sooner or later. Some men areinterested in women 20 years younger. It rarely works out and some men have tolearn this the hard way. You can catch one when he's finally gotten a clue, ifyou're patient. My friend Sheila did. Is it impossible to meet men? Only ifyou're determined it is.

He's looking for you just as hard as you'relooking for him, but he's not going to come knock at your door? I know men who'vecalled long-lost loves, sometimes after 40 years. A telephone or email worksfine and it can happen. If you heard the stories I hear as a coach, you'd knowthat
anything's possible.

I was in marketing for many years, and itoccurred to me that what you need is a marketing plan. If I were marketing anapartment complex, here's what I'd do: Interview the owner to find out what hergoals were. Check out the curb appeal. Find out what the amenities were. Do aquick study
of the competition. Write up a marketingplan, applying the fundamentals.

Now for the fun part - let's apply this toyou and your search for Mr. Right.

WHAT YOU WANT?

What are you looking for in a man? Bespecific. Make a list. Actually write it down. When you know what you want, youattract it. Write down the traits, qualities, values, appearance and so forth.

CURB APPEAL

In the apartment industry, "curbappeal" means what the place looks like when you first drive up. So do anhonest assessment of your curb appeal - what do they see when they look at you?Sometimes all you get is a first impression.

Do a makeover. If you need to, get a newhairstyle, get in top shape, get your nails done, and take a look at your wardrobe.Men fall in love with their eyes.

Work on your smile and your eye contact. Acoach can give you tips on this. You want your inner light to shine. This meansyou must work on your attitude. Learn some optimism. It can be learned and youdon't need a reason. Not only will you feel better, but you'll be moreattractive to other people.

THE AMENITIES

At an apartment complex, that's ceilingfans and hot tubs. For you, take a look at what you bring to a relationship. I'mnot talking about material things, I'm talking about things that really matter.Make a list of all your good qualities. Zero in on two things that are uniqueto you and exceptional about you. Keep these in mind and project them.

THERE IS NO COMPETITION

Keep in mind abundance - there's someonefor everyone, and the goal is to find a good fit, in which case, it really isn'ta competition.

However, if you're a bit rusty, take a lookaround you when you're out because you want to be current. Make sure your curbappeal is up-to-date. Watch other women when they're flirting; there's a styleto that as well. It will help you get in the zone to watch some women inaction. Brush up on your flirting skills. Smile. Catch his eye. Work up some
friendly opening lines to have handy.

THE PLAN

You know how they say "multiple incomestreams"? Well, you're going to need multiple outgoing streams. Your plan isto meet new people. The good thing about this is that you'll collect friendsand adventures, maybe even clients or a new job whatever else happens, so noneof this is wasted.

Get out, attend, join and participate. Ifthe doors are open, and people will be there, YOU be there. Assuming that youwork, you have the noon hour, evenings and weekends.

Now here are some suggestions - and do them ALL:

Join singles clubs and participate.
Join and get active in a faith organization
Go to any event open to the public -chamber of commerce, fundraising, Fun Runs, political, galas.
Join the online dating services such aseharmony - http://tinyurl.com/2lyea
Let your friends and family know thatyou'd like some introductions to nice single men they know
Be open to possibilities when you're outat the mall, grocery, and sporting goods store. Pay some visits Home Depot.Look like you're lost, and if you see a cute guy, ask him about torquewrenches.
Visit art museums, go to the races andsports events. Joinsome sports places. Word has it workout gyms are not a good place to look (foreither sex), but someone I know met a great guy when she was taking SCUBAdiving lessons.
Volunteer! And volunteer to do thingsthat put you in a strategic location. My favorites are staffing the nametag tableand serving as hostess or greeter. Everybody who enters must pass by me.
Build a house with Habitat for Humanity.Mid-life guys love manual labor.
Consider a goofy now-and-then job likedoing the food demos in the grocery store on Saturday afternoon. Notwithstandingthe silly "hat", you'll be in a prime position to look 'em over andhook 'em in. Or stock books in a bookstore one evening a week if you like guyswho read.
Take your dog walking in different parks,especially Saturday mornings.
Set up a blog on an interesting topic.Get a free one here: www.blogger.com .
Guys are physical. Go kayacking, campingout, hiking or bike riding; join a tennis league.
Hang out at Starbucks on Saturday

So there's your plan. Now approach it with enthusiasm and determination and remember to include all these things in yourmix. Good luck!

Susan Dunn, MA, Midlife Transitions Coach,
http://www.susandunn.cc. Susan is the author of "Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women,"
http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.htmland offers coaching for people in transition.
Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for free EQ ezine, with"ezine" for SL.