Just Infatuation - Or Is There More?

By Datehow.com Staff

Did you ever try to look back at some of your early giddy romance in the pre-teen or perhaps your high school or college days? It may be your art teacher, that cute boy in the front row who has that cool Batman lunchbox, your guidance counselor who smelled like baby, or the high school hunk who hangs out in the school gym everyday to play basketball at around 4pm - its funny how all these people takes you back to the old times when you think you are in the "I think I'm in love" stage of your life. Most of the time, looking back makes you laugh at the things you seriously believed at that time. In short, it's an infatuation that seemed like cloud nine true love back then.

Fascination, craze, obsession or whatever you may call it, all falls under a category called infatuation, that is often mistaken as love. Infatuation is an instant longing, craving or wishing for someone or something, arising from a mass feeling of insecurity and loneliness. You may be thrilled and energized at a certain point, but not truly feeling happiness from within. Often times, there are series of questions and doubts boggling your mind that you would later on give small attention to. It does not have a wide understanding and mature acceptance of a person's flaws and imperfections. Infatuation always seek the good and positive side, blinding the naked eye of accepting one's flaws. It does not become strong nor willing take deeper roots, because infatuation is not open for growth. It isn't real. It does not give you strength and wouldn't teach you to bring out the best in your partner. Infatuation wanders around to look for another when there are times that distance separates you. And at those times when you're apart from each other, more doubt is built than trust. You can't wait to see that person and be with him because you don't trust him. You don't trust him because you are insecure and threatened of so many things. Infatuation also comes with the element of sexual intimacy, might even make you do things you will later on regret because you do things just for the sake of doing it. But it does not necessarily pertain to a foreplay or a candid love scene. Infatuation is obviously an expression of unrealistic expectation of momentary passion without the yearning for personal growth and development of the relationship itself strongly identified with mere absence of fidelity, trust, sense of pride and commitment and loyalty.

But no matter how different people may look at and define infatuation, we all went through the same kiddie magical stage, and may have reasons and outlook towards commitment that are poles apart because we take things to a certain degree. It may be difficult for one to differentiate love from infatuation specially when questions begin popping in randomly, but even if the answers come quick, they won't be that easy to accept. The thing is, you should learn to honestly evaluate yourself, your partner, and the commitment you both share. The relationship should do big deal in bringing out the best in both of you as partners, and not as individuals.

I see infatuation as a martini, it elevate one's spirit and emotion, but only temporarily. But hey, no matter what we went through back then, surely remembering how that infatuation we encountered and thought is love at that moment, made us smile. The way we turned flashing red when we're being teased, or the pink handkerchief of yours he picked on the floor which you kept for years, or the day he said 'hi' leaving you blank and totally speechless, and so on - these things will always remind us what infatuation means and will continue to paint our faces with silly grins.

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